You’ve Convinced Me We Have To Collaborate — But How The Hell Do We Deal With People?

You’ve convinced me we have to collaborate * but how the hell do we deal with people?

blah blah blah collaboration @mattstratton

blah blah blah empathy @mattstratton

blah blah blah @mattstratton

“Our analysis found that this culture of psychological safety is predictive of software delivery performance, organizational performance, and productivity” - Accelerate State of DevOps Report 2019 @mattstratton

cool cool cool how do we do it @mattstratton

psychological safety @mattstratton

“[Psychological safety is] a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject, or punish someone for speaking up.” –Amy Edmondson Professor, Harvard Business School @mattstratton

approach conflict as a collaborator not as an adversary @mattstratton

speak human to human “just like me” @mattstratton

replace blame with curiosity you don’t have all the facts @mattstratton

model vulnerability create emotional bonds @mattstratton

blameless facilitation @mattstratton

“Humans are hardwired through millions of years of evolutionary neurobiology and thousands of years of social conditioning to use the technique of blaming as a way to give voice to painful and uncomfortable feelings, in order to effectively disperse them from our psyches” – J. Paul Reed Senior Applied Resilience Engineer, Netflix @mattstratton

Facilitator’s Role • Encourage people to speak up, and make sure that everyone is heard. • Clarify insights and challenge the team with questions. • Help the team to see different angles and different options. • Keep everyone on time and on track. Cut off tangents and stop people from dominating the entire meeting. @mattstratton

• Do not make decisions. • Do not take sides. • Try to speak as little as possible. • Be a shadow that guides discussions, not a presenter who takes over the meeting. @mattstratton

de-escalating conflict @mattstratton

“We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone’s complete satisfaction.” – Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. @mattstratton

@mattstratton

Nonviolent Communication • Observations • Feelings • Needs • Requests @mattstratton

Observations What I observe (see, hear, remember, imagine…free from my evaluations) that does or does not contribute to my well-being: “When I (see, hear) …” What you observe (see, hear, remember, imagine…free from my evaluations) that does or does not contribute to your well-being: “When you (see, hear) …” @mattstratton

Feelings How I feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what I observe: “I feel …” How you feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what you observe: “You feel …” @mattstratton

Needs What I need or value (rather than a preference or a specific action) that causes my feelings: “… because I need/value …” What you need or value (rather than a preference or a specific action) that causes your feelings: “… because you need/value …” @mattstratton

Requests • Clearly requesting that which would enrich my life without demanding • Empathically receiving that which would enrich your life without hearing any demand @mattstratton

Requests The concrete actions I would like taken: “Would you be willing to …?” The concrete actions you would like taken: “Would you like …?” @mattstratton

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African Proverb @mattstratton

https://speaking.mattstratton.com @mattstratton