You’ve Convinced Me We Have To Collaborate — But How The Hell Do We Deal With People?
A presentation at All The Talks by Matt Stratton
You’ve convinced me we have to collaborate * but how the hell do we deal with people?
blah blah blah collaboration @mattstratton
blah blah blah empathy @mattstratton
blah blah blah @mattstratton
“Our analysis found that this culture of psychological safety is predictive of software delivery performance, organizational performance, and productivity” - Accelerate State of DevOps Report 2019 @mattstratton
cool cool cool how do we do it @mattstratton
psychological safety @mattstratton
“[Psychological safety is] a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject, or punish someone for speaking up.” –Amy Edmondson Professor, Harvard Business School @mattstratton
approach conflict as a collaborator not as an adversary @mattstratton
speak human to human “just like me” @mattstratton
replace blame with curiosity you don’t have all the facts @mattstratton
model vulnerability create emotional bonds @mattstratton
blameless facilitation @mattstratton
“Humans are hardwired through millions of years of evolutionary neurobiology and thousands of years of social conditioning to use the technique of blaming as a way to give voice to painful and uncomfortable feelings, in order to effectively disperse them from our psyches” – J. Paul Reed Senior Applied Resilience Engineer, Netflix @mattstratton
Facilitator’s Role • Encourage people to speak up, and make sure that everyone is heard. • Clarify insights and challenge the team with questions. • Help the team to see different angles and different options. • Keep everyone on time and on track. Cut off tangents and stop people from dominating the entire meeting. @mattstratton
• Do not make decisions. • Do not take sides. • Try to speak as little as possible. • Be a shadow that guides discussions, not a presenter who takes over the meeting. @mattstratton
de-escalating conflict @mattstratton
“We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone’s complete satisfaction.” – Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. @mattstratton
@mattstratton
Nonviolent Communication • Observations • Feelings • Needs • Requests @mattstratton
Observations What I observe (see, hear, remember, imagine…free from my evaluations) that does or does not contribute to my well-being: “When I (see, hear) …” What you observe (see, hear, remember, imagine…free from my evaluations) that does or does not contribute to your well-being: “When you (see, hear) …” @mattstratton
Feelings How I feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what I observe: “I feel …” How you feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what you observe: “You feel …” @mattstratton
Needs What I need or value (rather than a preference or a specific action) that causes my feelings: “… because I need/value …” What you need or value (rather than a preference or a specific action) that causes your feelings: “… because you need/value …” @mattstratton
Requests • Clearly requesting that which would enrich my life without demanding • Empathically receiving that which would enrich your life without hearing any demand @mattstratton
Requests The concrete actions I would like taken: “Would you be willing to …?” The concrete actions you would like taken: “Would you like …?” @mattstratton
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African Proverb @mattstratton
https://speaking.mattstratton.com @mattstratton
We know that DevOps is about people, empathy, relationships, and collaboration. And science supports that—studies have shown collaboration is critical to effective software development and software operations. But many times, collaboration is easier said than done. Which raises the question: How do we deal with people and learn to work with different personalities?
Don’t worry, we can learn to improve our human interactions. Over time, I’ve learned some techniques and approaches to enhance collaboration and interaction, which I’ll share so you can put them into practice yourself!
Topics covered in this talk include:
- De-escalating conflict
- Facilitating blameless meetings
- Reframing conversations to be more productive
- Encouraging psychological safety in teams
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